Forced Marriage is Rape

How to Prove Marital Rape: When Consent is Buried Beneath Tradition

In a country where marital rape isn’t a crime in India, thousands of women silently endure the trauma of forced sex within forced marriages, sanctioned not just by families but by society and law. The marital rape exception—a colonial relic—still haunts Indian legislation, stripping married women of their right to bodily autonomy. Despite growing awareness, the marital rape law in India remains deeply flawed and outdated. This blog delves into the harrowing reality of forced marriages, how it leads to normalized sexual violence, and most importantly—how to prove marital rape in a system that denies its very existence. Through Meghna’s powerful story, legal insights, and cultural reflections, we confront the urgent need for reform and justice for women trapped behind the veil of ‘tradition’.

In a country where marital rape isn’t a crime in India, thousands of women like Meghna silently endure the trauma of forced sex within forced marriages, sanctioned not just by families but by society and law. The marital rape exception—a colonial relic—still haunts Indian legislation, stripping married women of their right to bodily autonomy. Despite growing awareness, the marital rape law in India remains deeply flawed and outdated. This blog delves into the harrowing reality of forced marriages, how it leads to normalized sexual violence, and most importantly—how to prove marital rape in a system that denies its very existence. Through Meghna’s powerful story, legal insights, and cultural reflections, we confront the urgent need for reform and justice for women trapped behind the veil of ‘tradition’.

Meghna, a 30-year-old woman, an accomplished academic, social worker, fiercely working towards the underprivileged agrarian society of Maharashtra. She was a bright and compassionate individual, who had a sole wish to work for the needy. She was driven towards her goal and content in her singlehood. She had a sense of clarity from very beginning and informed it to her parents as well that she doesn’t want to get married, it was a conscientious decision. She also mentioned that if love happens organically, she will consider marrying otherwise had no intention to conform.

Contrary to her believe and life preference, Indian society deems a woman in her thirties, unmarried, a huge social liability. More than her parents she was constantly pestered by the relatives. They started labelling her. Overwhelmed with shame and collapsed under social pressure, her parents started forcing her to get married. The time came when her father became seriously ill and social manipulation began: “It’s your father’s only wish to marry you off.” Her father started saying, “It’s the responsibility of a girl’s father and sole purpose. It’s my dream to do your ‘Kanyadaan’.”

More she cried, begged or resisted, she was seen as a rebellion. When her father’s health started deteriorating, she was the one to blame. Innocently, she questioned herself, that if a person can dream for anything in the world- wealth, fame, great career, social reform, a world tour, great health; but instead why as a community they are obsessing over taking away the autonomy of a single girl. What pleasure can one derive by crushing the dreams and very foundations of her life? Soon she gave in and forced to conform. Then the time came when relatives started calling her asking for her photographs, judging every other photo and mocking her appearance: “Your teeth look big in this once”, “you shouldn’t smile much in your photographs”, “you look fat in this picture”, “wear a saree then click a picture, western attire will not be accepted”. Meghna felt like an object of display.

It didn’t stop there she was also asked to quit her social work and take a corporate job. Because social work doesn’t sound very impressive inorder to get a marriage proposal accepted. In a breath, the whole purpose of her life was taken away from her. Finally, her marriage was fixed with a man whose family was ready to accept her despite her age. Her consent was never taken; she was just informed. She never really like the man she was betrothed to. He used to ridicule her passion for social reform, saying “You should think big, social service is not a real career. If you are so keen on helping others, you earn well from your corporate job, donate some money and be happy”.

Meghna had always perceived the entire world as one community and loved every single human being. She wanted to work for underprivileged and to make world a better place. It gave meaning to her life and while working for masses she always felt the contentment of serving her family. Nevertheless, her world was now confined to the walls of home and office, none of her choice.

Worst was yet to come. On her wedding night, she froze. She panicked as her husband approached. She pleaded, said ‘no’, but was ridiculed and forced by saying, “What do you mean? We are married now?”

She hadn’t just lost her agency but her sanctuary as well- her body, mind and soul were violated. Night after night, this continued. Every night she was raped and wakes up to see the same man lying by her side. The man she never liked was having complete charge of her agencies. She couldn’t scream as it was her own family to sanction her rape, they celebrated it. The rape that was normalized under the cloak of tradition. In our society marital rape doesn’t exist. It is often said that, “Sex within marriage is a duty, not a crime.”

Meghna couldn’t cry or escape, just helpless. She was silently bearing this trauma day after day, until her faculties gave up. After two months of marriage she committed suicide. Her last journal entry read: “Papa, I fulfilled your last wish, you are free from your responsibilities. Do you know my last wish? To run away, far-far away, leaving everything behind.”

This story is inspired by many real life stories but not all women gave in to the circumstances. The stood for themselves and became a vocal advocate for recognizing marital rape in India.

The Shades of Forced Marriages in India

In Indian societies, the line between arrange marriage and forced marriage is often so blurred that coercion wears the garb of tradition. Forced marriage is not just about being physically dragged to the altar while also includes psychological coercion. As per the Human Right Watch Report 2015, “Women are often emotionally manipulated into submission through threats of familial collapse, shame, or the promise of paternal blessings.” HRW has documented many cases of adult women from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh who were emotionally blackmailed or guilt tripped into marriage. It can be for any reason, namely; parent’s illness, family honor or societal reputation. Under the name of arrange marriage they fail to understand that while families arrange for a boy and girl to meet but the decision to marry relies on consent of both parties.

The United Nations defines forced marriage as: “a marriage in which one or both parties have not given their full and free consent.” In India, it is normalized by saying “what will people say”, “she is of age now” or “every girl needs a home”.

Types of Forced Marriages and Their Disguises

1. Coercive Arranged Marriages

This kind of coercion is often seen in urban settings where an educated and independent adults are emotionally cornered by their families into marrying.

2. Dowry-Driven Marriages

Where alliance is dictated by the financial arrangements not compatibility.

3. Religious/Caste-Pressure Marriages

In this kind of settings preferences are primarily given to the caste and social status of the family rather than choice of an individual. This kind of arrangements are more focused on ‘preserving bloodline’ or ‘social order’.

4. Honour Marriages

Families try to marry of their children as soon as they come to age before they can put forth their preferences. This arrangement is to avoid love marriages or shame.

5. Reputation Marriages

Marriage under the guise of saving face, especially when a woman reaches a certain age.

Violence Veiled Under Tradition

Forced marriages can never set a foundation of a healthy and happy community, but can very well result in myriad of crimes:

1. Marital Rape: India is still one of the very few countries where marital rape is not a crime. Despite many voices raised by the oppressed women and social reform agents, India continues to create a legal and social environment where forced sex within coerced marriage is normalised. This system oven overlooks the psychological and emotional desolation of women. As per the UN Women Report 2022-

“Criminalization of marital rape is crucial to protect bodily autonomy, especially in cases of forced marriages that masquerade as tradition.”

2. Suicide and Mental Health Disorders: National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2022 report, over 23000 women committed suicide and their deaths are linked to marital pressure, dowry and domestic violence. The report has not explicitly labelled all the cases resulted from forced marriage but have indicated high possibility of coerced union.

As per a study published in The Lancet Psychiatry (2020) shows that woman subjected to non-consensual marriages exhibit higher rate of depression, PTSD, and suicidal tendencies.

3. Domestic Abuse: Forced marriage often lack basic compatibility, liking and mutual respect for the partner. The lack of basic foundation of a marriage often escalates into physically abusive relationships.

Why Forced Marriage is Rape?

In any sexual relationship, consent is a necessary cornerstone. If a woman forced into a marriage, not really like her partner but is compelled for sex under that compulsion, cannot be seen a consensual. A legal marriage does not override bodily autonomy.

Marital rape is normalized in the name of tradition and consent being an unusual concept. Girls are often frowned upon, saying ‘no’ on such matters as it is against their ‘Sanskaras’ (values). But somewhere we have replaced our cultural believes and practises, our true ‘Sanskaras’ with social conformity. Let’s trace it back to our ancient texts the very foundation of our Indian Hindu culture. Society then was far more progressive in terms of female agency. The ‘Swayamvar’ system then existed allowed women to choose their own partners from the line-up of suitors. In the context of highly revered and worshipped Indian Princesses regarded as the quintessential women, consent and choice was not just acknowledged but celebrated. Where that norm really faded?

Impact of foreign invasion and colonialization distorted our real culture. Victorian morality, religious orthodoxy, and colonial-era laws erased the concept of consent and replaced it with control. Emphasis now is not on companionship while it has reduced to compliance. We can often see mothers preaching their daughters: “A successful marriage is always based on compromises.” Compromises, upto what extent?

The Cultural Awakening We Need

Forced marriage is not a tradition but a false notion, glorified. It’s a human right violation. For women, it’s a rape masked in traditions and glorified as ‘Sanskaras’. Society needs to reframe their understanding of culture, study its true essence and give it a humanitarian view. Parents should understand the preference of their children, discuss their life goals, expectations and guide them to lead a happy life, not force their false believes and societal norms. Society must understand that a marriage forced is not healthy and the long term impact can lead towards societal degradation. Communities formed through such marriages will have multiple flaws. It may lack love, trust and respect which will sooner or later start to reflect upon a larger group. The law must recognize marital rape. ‘No’ deserves to be heard.